18 Things I Learned in 2018

Happy New Year!!!What a year, friends!!I don't know about you, but 2018 was a difficult year ALLLL the way throughout. From absurdities via the White House to deaths to divorces to family drama and more it was exhausting!Despite the downfalls I may experience, I do my best to consider the positive takeaways from every situation. If it's not a level up then it's a lesson! Here are all of the lessons I've had the opportunity to learn in 2018:1. Life is too short to spend just getting by. Get out there (wherever there is) and be your best you!2. If you don't want it for yourself, nobody can help you want it. You must get up, get out, and DO. God is always our present help as well in the most trying of times where we need motivation.3. Surround yourself with people whose lives you want to emulate. Like, actually. Strangely enough, I think this made the list last year, so clearly I'm still learning. If you notice trends/behaviors amongst your closest boo crew that are not for you, you might want to begin re-evaluating your friends. After evaluating you actually have to decide to move forward, however, even if that means without them. That is the part no one talks about, and is usually the hardest.4. Divorce is trending. As a new couple in the beginning of the year, I'll definitely be the first to admit that this was disappointing and depressing. But God is teaching my husband and I that He has empowered us with the tools to be successful against the devil. Being present, actively choosing each other and keeping God at the center has made us an even stronger unit. Now, if divorce does happen to be part of your testimony for whatever reason, do know that this is not the end. I believe there is a God who sits high and looks low and will be with us and love on us now matter what our current situation.5. Also, cheating is FOR THE BIRDS. I've learned vicariously through the experiences of others how detrimental these behaviors can be. I want no parts of it. You heard it here first!6. Downplaying your strengths is a lose-lose; you cheat yourself out of your potential, and rob others of the blessing God has for them (and you) through you.7. Traveling expands your mind like nothing else can. There are cultures, food, languages, people, and places I would never see or experience if I didn't travel. It is invaluable in that it forces you to experience the world through a different paradigm--a different pair of lenses other than your own, even if just for a few moments.8. Church is not a building. It is wherever two or three are gathered with God in the midst. I am the church, you are the church, we are the church; therefore, every single thing we do and say is a marketing flyer for or against the gospel message of Jesus. Never forget that.9. If you can't travel, read. If you can travel, read while traveling. If you don't like reading, save your money and pay for audiobooks. Reading can take you places that you might not otherwise have time, money, education, or the "right" social status to go.10. Take notes while reading, lest all the reading be for nothing.11. Don't be afraid to say something is wrong. This is something I have actively been working on the entire year. Whether that is amongst family, friends, politics or life in general, know what you believe and stand for it. When you do, you are a more open and confident person for it and you allow people the opportunity to know the real you, and even challenge you to think differently in certain situations.12. Know your strengths! Too often we focus on our weaknesses, wasting time beating ourselves over the head when we do something wrong; however, what we don't realize is that if we actually focused on our strengths we would be spending so much time being great that our weaknesses would soon seem trivial, and not as overwhelming when we do tackle them.13. Mental Health professionals are INVALUABLE. I am completely unashamed to say that I am actively enjoying and pursuing professional help via counseling. If you don't take care of and love on yourself you cannot adequately do the same for others, and that lifestyle will create a trickle-down effect that will permeate everything and everyone surrounding you. When you go to get your car fixed, do you ask the mechanic to make sure to check up on everything except the engine, the machine that makes the whole thing tick? Of course you don't. Then why then do we neglect the maintenance of our minds? Taking care of our mental health is just like maintenance on our cars. Neglect it and you might just find yourself on the side of the road somewhere....literally.14. Seek out your genetics. Know your family history. Educate yourself on tendencies, diseases, predispositions, and successes. The more you know, the further you'll go, not because you're better than any of those people or things, but because you've taken the time to do your research (as in any other learning opportunity), and have a good understanding on what life was and can be if you want something different.15. Take time to know yourself. This includes how you process information, people, time places, things, etc. Discover that person. Once you get to know the real you, you can move forward to be an even better version of you.16. Death is the great equalizer. No matter where you live, who you are or what you have, all of us reach a level playing ground when it comes to death. More simply said, time is short, you never know when yours is coming, and so live your life accordingly.17. Don't dive headfirst into something just because it's trending. Use principles to guide your life decisions, and not the latest fad. Write down, solidify and discuss those principles with someone you consider to be a close friend of sound mind. Writing them down doesn't make them unchangeable, but gives them a more tangible object permanence that can serve as a point of reference in times of decision-making.18. Focus on what you can actually control. This is major for me because I am a worrier. But I'm consistently coming to realize that most things I worry about I have zero control over. As referenced earlier this year in the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People," the best thing we could ever do is focus on our circle of influence (those things we have an influence/control over) and diminish our circle of concern. And for me that means giving my worries to an all-powerful God by whom all things are possible.Well friends, I am so looking forward to 2019. I know it's going to be an even better year, not because I won't experience any downfalls, but because I'll be better for them. I'm praying for nothing but the absolute best for you all in this year to come. Remember that with God all things are possible and if it's not a level up, it's a lesson!Here's to a fantastic year!!-ALANAYA SO CHIC